The Best Money Advice I Wish I Could’ve Given My Teenage Self

“Your daughter is an excellent student, Mrs. Zamot, but I’m concerned that her perfectionistic ways are zapping the fun out of her life.”

That’s exactly what my seventh-grade teacher told my mom while I was taking a make-up vocabulary test.

And she wasn’t kidding about me. I was the kid who would tear up an entire assignment if I made a single mistake in pencil and start all over again. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, right?!

Perfectionism was my way of trying to control things I had absolutely no control over, like my crazy curly, frizzy hair that could never be coerced into the trendy TV or magazine styles I so desperately wanted.

I could see it in my stylist’s eyes every time I’d bring my latest picture ripped from a magazine, “Oh honey, I’m a beautician, not a magician!”

Luckily, she never actually said that to me. That would’ve been too much for my tender little heart to bear. *sigh*

Oh, teenage Kathy! The advice I would give you...

Does any of this sound familiar, by the way, or is it just me? 😬

Let’s take a little trip down memory lane and imagine how different our present financial pictures could’ve looked if we had known then what we know now.

1 | Stop spending money on things you think will make you happy.

Things won’t make you happy. Experiences and relationships do. While you’re trying to fill a void in your life with possessions, you’re missing out on building connections with other kickass women who are struggling with the same things you are.

They’re your tribe. Instead of spending your money acquiring more stuff, spend your time finding ways to grow your community. You’ll find that, much like the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, there’s no purchase necessary.

2 | Figure out what you really want.

“So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want.” I bet you sang that sentence. 😊

Girl, you need to get away from all of the daily messaging that’s bombarding you and get quiet long enough for you to find what lights you up. What makes you feel like you’re in the zone? What flows naturally, like you could do it for days?

Knowing what you really (really 😉) want will guide your money decisions. Do you want to have the house, car, career, partner, and kids? What does that look like? Or do you want to travel? Are you all about the luxe lifestyle, or is tiny living more your speed?

Don’t blindly pursue a money dream just because it’s expected of you. Pursue the lifestyle that will make you happy.

3 | Give yourself a break.

Your inner critic is a hardass, but don’t be too mad at her. She’s trying to keep you safe. Also though, don’t listen to her. You’re not fleeing a saber-toothed tiger. That’s when her advice is needed most. So, thank her kindly, and tell her to sit her bottom down. You are in the driver’s seat.

Instead of beating yourself up mercilessly when you make a money “mistake,” remember that you’re doing the best you can with the information you have. Also, gauging your energy and emotions at the time you made the money decision will act as a learning experience for the next time you face the same situation.

It’s never too late to learn. We can’t go back in time and undo our old money decisions, but we can set ourselves up for a mindful, abundant future.

If you would like support from a recovering perfectionist who has made her life’s mission to live on her own terms and help you do the same, hit me up, Chica. I’m always on the lookout for my tribe.

You got this!