Now what? 🤷♀️
Flash back to 2008. I'm sitting at my desk at an insurance company that offers coverage to nonprofit organizations.
I'm talking with my good friend Byron about how stressed I am as the primary breadwinner for my family of four (mother of a 13 year old daughter and 10 year old son), and an active member of my church with my treasurer duties taking up a TON of my bandwidth.
Byron in his sage wisdom cuts to the chase and asks: "I hear all the things you think you need to be for everyone else. But, what does happiness look like to YOU?"
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New New Year, New Me
If you're anything like me, you've been nose to the grindstone just trying to make a little sense of what's going on - not only in your personal life but also in the WORLD on a grander scale.
And Honey, it hasn't been easy! I hear ya! 😵
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It's my birthday! 🥳
The radio DJ would play the song and then announce the birthdays of the day.
Even though I knew no one had called in my name, I'd still listen to see if another Kathy and I shared our special day. 🤭😂
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But, I've been invisible my whole life! 🙈
Tina, the photographer, started cuing me for my photoshoot when I bursted out in tears, "I can't do this! I've been invisible my WHOLE life!"
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Lessons learned…
That being said, this Chica decided to say "fuck it society! I like the salt and pepper and I'm going to rock it from now on." 💃😎
This one decision has saved me 12 hours and $864 a year. 😳🤯
Thank you S.O.U.L. framework for prompting me to ask myself if I'm optimizing my time and utilizing my money in the best way that FEELS good to ME. ✅
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Not.one.more.thing!!
This girl right here is working 50 hour weeks. 🥴
It's a season and I'm choosing to make the best of it. There's a master plan at work.
Right now the bandwidth and time buckets are low, but the money bucket is looking pretty good.
It's time to utilize my money for the good of our home life (love you, Jay!) and outsource the bookkeeping and administrative tasks for his business.
'Cause Mama is SPENT. 🥴
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What is she telling you today?
In the past, people pleasing and perfectionism resulted in burnout because of my lack of boundaries.
I wanted to "do it all" and go "above and beyond" for the gold star.
The deep down issue? I didn't feel that I was enough. Or that I had to prove myself constantly or the powers that be would see I was an imposter.
Sound familiar? Yeah. I know. 😔
Here's the thing. People pleasing and perfectionism is not a good use of our time.
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Like for real, for real…
As an empath, I've been feeling spent lately. 😖
Are you there too?
You know you want to do SOMETHING MORE, you just don't know WHAT?
I had to step back and drink my own Koolaid, you know? Like for real, for real.
I teach my clients the SOUL framework in my Financial Goals with Soul program:
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Don't Give Up
Don't give up. Keep reaching out, learning, taking action.
Because when we just keep our heads down and pretend things are going to get better, they don't.
And to all my beautiful, heart centered White souls who are right there front and center supporting BIPOC, sending resources, sharing your platforms with Black women, promoting Black businesses, marching, thank you.
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Staying motivated? Say what??
For a bit there, any day where I was able to get through the day without spontaneously bursting into tears was a good day!
Even though I’ve felt a bit of a shift in the last few weeks where I feel like I’m hitting my stride, I’m still “not ok.”
And I’m the first to tell you, Babe, that it’s ok not to be ok. 🧘♀️
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Mahna Mahna
I'm a planner. Jay is more of a free spirit. We both crave financial security.
So now when he proclaims, "I want to save $10,000!" I don't immediately go into plan and attack mode and say, "how exactly and for what?!" 😱
I say, "Cool. Why is that number lighting you up so I can get on that train too?"
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Keeping It Real
Before you say, "wait, Kathy. I thought you're a money and abundance coach. What does this have to do with money?" 💸
A lot, actually.
Because when you're anxious, 9 times out of 10, it turns into or its root cause is money anxiety. If you can't get the mind gremlins under control, you're more likely to make money decisions you wouldn't otherwise:
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The Masked Singer and Your Money Story
It's surprising to hear a well known singer say that singing in a mask helps them feel free to express themselves fully without worrying about what people would think about them.
These are VERY famous people, guys! Some of them are already established professional singers.
They have these stories running in their heads that they're not good enough.
Is it possible that this is happening with your money story?
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The KonMari Method for Money
I'm not here to say, "don't buy another.single.thing the rest of your life!" ✋🛑
Because you know what? That course, product, or service may very well be exactly what you need right now.
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The Best Money Advice I Wish I Could’ve Given My Teenage Self
“Your daughter is an excellent student, Mrs. Zamot, but I’m concerned that her perfectionistic ways are zapping the fun out of her life.”
That’s exactly what my seventh-grade teacher told my mom while I was taking a make-up vocabulary test.
And she wasn’t kidding about me. I was the kid who would tear up an entire assignment if I made a single mistake in pencil and start all over again. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, right?!
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The Stress Less Financial Checklist
“And the Employee of the Month award goes to…not you.” Damn. That hurt!
I heard actual gasps from every corner of the room when the vice president of our department announced that someone other than me had received the Employee of the Month award.
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